“You are a needy person!”
My dad said it to me one sunny afternoon years ago when I was a teenager.
It was one of those days where the sun shouldn’t have been shining and people driving about in their cars and babies being born and welcomed with happy shouts of joy. It was one of those afternoons where the entire world should have stopped, donned black and ashes, and mourned for me. Flags should have been at half mast and no one should have lifted their chins from drooping down to rest on their chests.
I had just had a friendship die in a tangled chaotic disaster. It was a friendship that had been bad from almost the get-go and it had ended just about as messily as it could have. And I had been equally to blame.
“You are a needy person!” My dad had said it with a mixture of sorrow and disbelief on his face, rather surprised that he had come to the realization about his own daughter.
I’m an extrovert. Like, to an extreme. Anyone who’s met me can attest to it. Even people who haven’t met me laugh and nod their cyber-heads. All you have to do is be one of my Facebook friends to know that I’m a people-person. On the Myers-Briggs tests, I score 100% extroverted. (I’m an ESFJ for you other MBTI-ers. ;-))
I’ve never needed “a moment to myself.” I’ve never wanted to be alone to think. I never need a “breather.”
So it’s no secret that it’s easy for me to make an idol of other human beings. And, in this case, my idol had been in the form of a best friend, someone who had steered me wrong – someone who I had steered wrong. We had been in a sinking ship together and the ship had sunk. It was under the waves. Gone. Irrecoverable.
And my father had stared at floating flotsam and jetsam and been horrified at the captain of such a pathetic vessel: me.
It hurt. It made me mad. And I bristled.
I continued to bristle until I failed again. And then I realized it was true. I was a needy person.
But God uses needy people.
When they cry out to Him and seek Him with their whole heart, He doesn’t cure them of their neediness.
Instead, He makes them need Him more than anything.
Being needy isn’t the problem. The self-sufficient person is one step behind me. No, the problem is who or what I need. When the Person or Thing I desperately need is Christ, it is a righteous need that actually satisfies.
It actually makes me joyful.
It is good.
It is right.
So I challenge you – as you think on what godly, mature, and well-meaning Christians have pointed out to you about your flaws, whatever makes you bristle, whatever stings, that’s pride talking.
You don’t want to have to fail again to realize it was true.
And, in the meantime, be needy. Be very needy. For Christ, and Christ alone.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?”