I have legitimately heard all of these things. If you say these, you are probably a crazy weird woman. 😀
Raise your hand if you’ve committed any of these Weirdisms. And please comment and add others I might have missed! Gotta love women, even when we open our mouths a bit too much. 😉
“I can’t wait to hug your face.” Sounds like a cute way to describe suffocation..
“She’s so cute I want to eat her cheeks with a spoon.” Cannibalism alive and well!
“Honey, you’re gonna have a boy. I can tell by the shape of your belly.” Sorry, the sonogram said girl. Do you think you’re a medium? 😛
“Were your kids planned?” And I’m going to tell you?!
“You’re so pregnant you look like you’re going to pop!” Now I’m more nauseated. And unflattered.
“Let me just love on you.” When did “love” become a verb that you do “on” someone?
“You’re eating or drinking something I wouldn’t eat or drink. You’re going to die young.” Glad to know you’re the expert, Mom.
“You’re so thin you need to eat at McDonalds every day!” Then she’d be unhealthy too.
“I hate you! Shut up!” When complimenting another woman. Usually followed by a slap. How does this all add up to a positive experience?
“I can’t go swimming. I just washed my hair.” So wash it again?
“I need my baby fix” or “Babies are so addicting.” Like a drug?
“What are you?” or “Where are you really from?” America.
“I have just nothing in my closet.” Ignore the twenty-five blouses and fifteen skirts.
“Totes ‘Dorbes.” Apparently, it means “Totally adorable”?
“You go, girl!” We’ve never figured out where.
“I’ll be ready in five minutes.” And no woman ever was.
“Don’t you think I was cuter back then.” There is no good answer to this.
“I’ve got to Instagram this” or “Facebook that.” Nouns are not verbs, no matter how cute they sound.
“Oh, I already know. A little ‘birdy’ told me about it.” I guess a lot of women think they’re Snow White.
And, last but not least:
Does this make me look fat? Guys, there’s an easy answer. You always say, “NO.”
Give me more hilarious womenly lines! 😀