20 Crazy Weird Things Women Say

I have legitimately heard all of these things.  If you say these, you are probably a crazy weird woman.  😀

Raise your hand if you’ve committed any of these Weirdisms.  And please comment and add others I might have missed!  Gotta love women, even when we open our mouths a bit too much.  😉

“I can’t wait to hug your face.”  Sounds like a cute way to describe suffocation..

“She’s so cute I want to eat her cheeks with a spoon.”  Cannibalism alive and well!

“Honey, you’re gonna have a boy.  I can tell by the shape of your belly.”  Sorry, the sonogram said girl.  Do you think you’re a medium?  😛

“Were your kids planned?”  And I’m going to tell you?!

“You’re so pregnant you look like you’re going to pop!”  Now I’m more nauseated.  And unflattered.

“Let me just love on you.”  When did “love” become a verb that you do “on” someone?

“You’re eating or drinking something I wouldn’t eat or drink.  You’re going to die young.”  Glad to know you’re the expert, Mom.

“You’re so thin you need to eat at McDonalds every day!”  Then she’d be unhealthy too.

“I hate you!  Shut up!”  When complimenting another woman.  Usually followed by a slap.  How does this all add up to a positive experience?

“I can’t go swimming.  I just washed my hair.”  So wash it again?

“I need my baby fix” or “Babies are so addicting.”  Like a drug?

“What are you?” or “Where are you really from?”  America.

“I have just nothing in my closet.”  Ignore the twenty-five blouses and fifteen skirts.

“Totes ‘Dorbes.”  Apparently, it means “Totally adorable”?

“You go, girl!”  We’ve never figured out where.

“I’ll be ready in five minutes.”  And no woman ever was.

“Don’t you think I was cuter back then.”  There is no good answer to this.

“I’ve got to Instagram this” or “Facebook that.”  Nouns are not verbs, no matter how cute they sound.

“Oh, I already know.  A little ‘birdy’ told me about it.”  I guess a lot of women think they’re Snow White.

And, last but not least:

Does this make me look fat?  Guys, there’s an easy answer.  You always say, “NO.”

Give me more hilarious womenly lines!  😀

6 thoughts on “20 Crazy Weird Things Women Say

  1. Hahahaha. My family-in-law regularly says “totes adorbs” because they think it’s hilarious. It’s more the guys who say it than the girls! They also say “totes ma-goats!” Not sure what that’s supposed to mean!

    *raises hand* Guilty of “Instagramming that.” And also, YES, I cannot go swimming if I just washed my hair. I don’t want to do it again! Washing hair is a big fat nuisance. 😛 I do it every 2-3 days (that’s actually much healthier for your hair than daily!) and avoid things that will require me to do it more often. 😛


  2. I’m sorry, but I actually really get the “baby fix” one and I’d have to say I am guilty. When you are single with no prospects and you want a child there is something soothing and comforting about being able to hold one and sometimes it makes you feel better for a while.

    Here’s one…wasn’t said by a woman but it fits…

    “Are you on a diet or do you just eat that stuff because you like it?” Um, do I have to be on a diet to enjoy something that is healthy AND good ?


  3. I think Facebooking and Instagramming are both thoroughly accepted culturally correct verbs. Meaning grammatically they may be wrong but culture has made them correct. Same as “friending” someone on Facebook.


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