Letters to My Daughters


I have two toddler daughters.

No, they’re not twins, although I field this question daily.  The younger one’s going to pass the older one any time soon, and, from the back, they sure look like twins.  Adorable, chubby-legged toddler twins.

They’re as close as twins anyway.

They are each other’s best friend, and some times I have to squeeze to get inside of the mess of love going on between them.

“Any room for Mama?”

As a youngster, myself, my parents were people to emulate and please above all else.  They were wise and kind and listened.

My mom homeschooled me all the way up, and I never got tired of being in her presence. 

My father was an active counselor, playmate, leader, and friend.

However, when it came to sharing the hard stuff – the nitty gritty, ugly sin stuff – my mouth was closed tight. 

My childish pride stood in my way like a horned villain.  “Can’t ever have Dad and Mom thinking I’m anything less than angelic!”

There’s really nothing they could’ve done better.

In my late teens, I liked to pin the problem on them.

“Well, they’re scary because they take things away when I do wrong!” (How is this a bad thing?  It’s called “consequences.”)

or “They tell people I’m wonderful, so I can’t let them down!”  (So they can’t ever praise me?  Of course they know I’m human!)

Even if you’re the perfect mother, who has established a beautiful Gilmore-Girls-like relationship with your daughter, odds are there will still be That One Thing (or Two or Four or Fifteen Things) she’s going to have a very hard time talking about. 

(Rory *did* go and sleep with the married ex-boyfriend, you know.  That’s, personally, when I could stomach no more of the show.)  Gilmore Girls aside, any relationship between a Christian adult and a child is off-balanced with one side being largely immature.  No matter how much you give on your end, your child isn’t going to be a saint.  Their little pride problem exists as well, and they’ve had fewer years to temper it.  And I find that daughters, especially, tend to have trouble with their mothers at some point in their lives.

Hence, my latest project: Letters to My Daughters.

I heard about this first when an article floated past about a mother sending her kid off to college with a shoebox full of letters for different situations: falling in love, a difficult test, emotional trouble, etc.

I LOVED the idea, being a writer who likes things up close and personal, but I thought,

“Why wait until college?”

Even if they’re in my home, there will probably be an elephant or two that will be hard for them to broach.

Therefore, I thought, wouldn’t it be great to start writing them letters now?

I can store them in this beautiful box I got on Etsy, paint their names on top, and let them pull out a letter when they need it but their mouths won’t open, and their hearts are bursting.


I can even keep checking back to see which letter is missing and which I need to replace with a new one on the same topic.

Here are some of the topics I want to cover:

  • (General) Sadness
  • When You Doubt God
  • When You Have a Crush
  • When You’re Afraid
  • When You Have a Terrible Secret
  • Temptation
  • Difficulty with Me, Your Mama
  • Difficulty with Another Family Member

But I know there are more!  This is where you come in. 

Do you have ideas for what topics I can write about and have waiting for my daughters? 

May God bless our children and give them an intimate relationship with Him, and a blessed one with us.  ❤

12 thoughts on “Letters to My Daughters

  1. Comfort when you’ve lost a loved one.
    Encouragement when patience, love, self control (you get the idea) is being stretched.
    Reassurance, I guess, that parents are always there to listen and want to be involved in their child’s life.

    That’s a great idea to do that, RJ! 🙂


  2. How about: When you’ve thought/said/done something that you know you shouldn’t and you’d never, ever want anyone to know so there’s no way you’re going to talk about it.


  3. I know I’ve given you some suggestions before, but what about, “When You’re Lonely” and “When You Feel Betrayed” (I’m thinking betrayed by a friend, like in a situation where they were harmed by gossip, but it could be more general for any kind of betrayal).

    Also, I don’t know what the gist of your general sadness one is, but one good thing to consider down the road is depression. A lot of people with depression tend to hide it from everyone, and the isolation only makes it worse. A young person could be self-harming and hiding it from their parents…it’s all too common. 😦 Maybe a letter aimed at that specific “unmentionable” would be good, in case they’re ever in that situation.


  4. Rach

    What a great idea! Mom and I will have to give this thought.

    Is “etsy” right or was that an autocorrect for EBay?


    Sent from my iPhone


    • Oh no. Etsy is nothing like Ebay. Etsy is Kathleen’s favorite, for instance. 🙂 Etsy is for Independent home businesses where people make their own crafty wares and sell them. Amazing place. 🙂


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