I spent three days of last week in an angry, emotional fog.
The abortion news hit me really, really hard, and I cried and panicked my way through 72 hours. If you didn’t know, that’s okay. I didn’t even want to talk about it. I posted a lot on Facebook, but mostly stayed at home and sobbed my way through some emotional prayer times.
I just felt this deep, angry, panic that there was nothing I could do to rescue all of these children. Nothing I could do to stop evil. And it felt like God Himself had no answers for me when I begged Him.
But then at some point, I did quiet down a bit and turned a corner in my thinking. I still don’t know God’s plan for these babies, and why so many die before they step foot on earth. I still don’t know if God’s populating heaven with them – and the reverse idea feels like insanity and I can’t handle the thought, so I don’t go there. In faith I trust that God is protecting these babies. “For such is the kingdom of heaven.”
And I realized what I CAN do is give money – donate to your crisis pregnancy centers, even if, like me, you’re far too over-committed to take on donating time. Donate money. They need it badly for supplies, brochures, medical equipment, and more.
I realized I had some tracts through 180movie.com that not only are pro-life and talk about the unborn’s right to life, but also share the gospel. I plan on handing those out and putting them in bathroom stalls and leaving them where they can be found.
AND I want to just be a better evangelist. The best way to save lives is to try to save the people with power over those lives. The only way to truly stop people from being murderous and selfish in their choices is to change their hearts to love Jesus and others more than themselves. So bringing people in my city the gospel is the best thing I can do for the unborn.
Therefore, using my own mom as an example – who can get any human being to talk at any time 😛 – I started to look for ways to talk to people. When I picked up Cinnabon for my husband, I noticed the cashier’s nametag, which was unusual, and told her I loved names because I wrote Christian fiction. She actually wrote down my name and wants to look up my Christian books. ❤
In the grocery store – which is the place my husband and I get the worst comments about having three daughters – when a woman started to remark on our extreme case of estrogen in our home and to rant about her own daughter, including cursing, I latched onto the fact that she mentioned church and engaged her about her denomination and told her where our church was located. She ended our conversation by saying I gave her hope for a relationship with her daughter and little girl she nannies in the future.
This is NOT normally the way I engage strangers. As chipper and extroverted as I am, I’m also a busy mom who likes to get in, shop, and get out. I have enough to do worrying about my crazy toddler and naptime and homeschooling and our schedule. Usually I ignore the strangers around me unless they approach me first, and then I only spare them a big smile, and then run off to “get stuff done.” But now I’m trying to take the time to find ways to engage the people around me and get in something about my faith, my writing ministry, or my church.
I still feel horrified about the infant holocaust we’ve got going on, and I’m still going to ask God a ton of questions when I get to heaven, and I’m very honest with Him how I feel because He knows my heart through and through anyway, but at least now I have action.
And we can pray. Always, first and foremost, pray. It’s the best thing we have. ❤