No longer a size ten

Can’t wear those soft old shirts

Crow’s feet round the eyes

Waking up just hurts


Hairdo’s perfect

Makeup now just right

Yet curves have multiplied

Diet is a fight


She knows it’s about her heart

She knows her friends abound

She knows the mirror lies to her

She knows life’s better older, she’s found


She’d never choose to be a teen again

She’d never give up her freedom now

Her sobriety, maturity…

But how


Can she turn off that voice that says

Neither man nor women look

No one cares, no one praises

You’re done – the end of your book?


She knows it doesn’t matter

This earth’s not all there is

Her life is golden and largely pleasant

But every once in a while this


Hits her square between her aging eyes

The other half of me

Is ugly, ignorable, DONE

My body


And she can’t keep the grief out of her step

Because this world with every billboard and ad

Says no one will ever find me beautiful again

And it shouldn’t, but it makes her sad.




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