If Your GPS had a Personality Type…

If your GPS system had a Myers-Briggs personality type, she would say this:nokia-own-voice


ESTJ: You will arrive at your destination faster than everyone else in a burst of efficient machoism.

ENTJ: Pass the sucker on your left. It is probably an old lady who needs to eat your dust.

ENFJ: In 400 feet, stop and feed the homeless.

ESFJ: If you arrive late and make me look bad, I will never work for you again.

ISFJ: On your right, you will pass a building that has fond memories for me. Let me tell you about my childhood while you drive.

ISTJ: In 2.6543 miles, you will make a 75 degree angle to your left. In 2.6542 miles, you will make a 75 degree angle to your left. In 2.6541 miles…

INTJ: The route guidance wishes she could have planned these roads better. Do not take the Frontage road because it is badly designed by a nincompoop.

INTP: I will be completely silent and zone out and hope you do not miss a turn while I plan up your next route.

INFP: In a quarter of a mile, stop and park on the right. Please look up at the stars and enjoy them before continuing on your way.

INFJ: I will now provide an epic soundtrack for you to regale yourself with and use to daydream until the next direction is needed.

ESTP: I refuse to work in anything other than a motorcycle. Why are you in this lame minivan?

ISTP: I will shut up because you have a feeling you know your way around better than I could ever tell you.  And your journey will be far more amusing than following my directions.

ISFP: The architecture, on your left, is stunning. Please enjoy the buildings around you for their beautiful windows and lattices.

ENTP: I will now take you on a detour while you talk to the passenger next to you. You did not need to be anywhere on time anyway.

ENFP: Commencing dropping windows, raising music volume, and encouraging you to wave at other drivers. This will better the world.

ESFP: Do you look cute? Does my voice sound cute? Do you drive a cute car? Oh, I hope the car is clean.

What do Lady Gaga, Personality Types, and Rainbows Have in Common?


The answer to my title is: They’re all in my yearly stats!

This year I saw the best traffic on this web page in all of my years of mc_guime_performing_live_to_5_thousand_peopleblogging!  I had 15, 507 views from 11,248 visitors.  All in all, I had exactly 555 comments.  🙂

People browsed the most from the United States, with Canada at second place, and United Kingdom coming in third.

Readers came from Facebook most often, with Reddit hitting a close 2000px-facebook_icon-svgsecond, and search engines being the third choice.  The most common search terms were “shocking truth about lady gaga,” “hiding” (???  Okay?) and “blonde rj.”

After reading my article, people then were most likely kgpsqbx3to click links that took them to Amazon.com (To buy my books!), or to my best friend’s page at The Simmering Mind, or to Jane Friedman’s description of the “literary novel.” Hello, Jane!  We don’t know eachother, but I hope you enjoyed the traffic!  I loved your article.  🙂

Onto my top 10 posts!  

These are the posts with the highest views in 2015!

#1 Liminal Fantasy and the Stupid Heroineposing20in20a20spider20girl20costume

This was a huge success on Reddit (Click to read the discussion), mainly due to the fact that I simply beefed on a trope of fiction that so many of us are sick of.  It was fun to write and rant all in one!

#2 In Memory of Victoria Mercy Conte

My heart is full thinking about this post making it to the #2 spot.  ❤  MyConte - 052 husband wrote this speech, and then spoke in front of a large gathering at his littlest sister’s funeral.  This was a tough year for the Conte family, and we miss our little butterfly very much.  My husband’s words are tender, compassionate, and yet hopeful – since we know she’s with the Lord.  I hope his writing continues to bless even more people.  ❤

#3 Anime Characters by Myers-Briggs Type

People love Myers-Briggs and people love anime.  This is a combination ofmami_tomoe_render_by_moeblueberry1771-d5evnl7 the two.  It took me a while to find all the pictures and correct spelling of names.  This is an ongoing project, so a link to it sits in the right-hand sidebar of this page at all times.  The majority of Redditors agreed with  my assessment of types, so I’m glad.  I wasn’t terribly happy with how WordPress sometimes insisted on formatting the pictures, but it works.

#4 All Myers-Briggs Humor Posts

I’m going to lump all of my Myers-Briggs humor posts into one place, murder_scenesince they were all in the top 10.  These do very well on Reddit, and are all similar in style.  I do them when I want a comical post in between serious posts.  Find your type!

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to Finding a Spider in the Shower

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to Endless Videos of Your Children on Facebook

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Would Respond to a Visit from an Alien

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Reacts to a Dead Body


#5 Lessons from Job on Infertility

I’m really glad I decided to share my struggles, as it took me quite some 325554_f520time of suffering with this before I felt brave enough to share.  It has been wonderfully relieving to have other people know what we’re going through, and secondary infertility is not talked about very often.  Job is a powerful, wonderful book, and I’ve been clinging to it all year.  Could use prayer, as we still don’t have any answers about why we have not been able to have more children.  😦

#6 Make Your Mami Tomoe Musket for Under $20!BeFunky_IMG_4671.jpg

Believe it or not, this hit my top 10 list!  This is for the cosplay crowd, or lovers of Puella Magi Madoka Magica.  I can’t wait to go to an anime-con and see someone who actually made this musket.  😀  Meanwhile, I’ll be bringing mine, so look for me at Sakura-Con!

#7 Somewhere Over the Rainbow?

Another post about my difficulties from this year, this one with a more general, artistic, lyrical bent.  Again, I’m glad that my excruciatingly honest posts are the ones that get the most views.  If God can use my trials for good in someone else’s life, I can sleep a little easier at night wading through the challenges.  Please pray for my family.  ❤

Rainbow Land

#8 Sakura-Con Friday Part 2!Ruby blur

This is really random that this was my #8 top viewed post.  This is simply one part of an anime convention I went to, complete with pictures of cosplayers.  Maybe someone saw themself and reshared it a bunch of times.  🙂

#9 An Open Letter to My Pregnant Sister

This one still astounds me that it’s hit the top 10 list two years in a row. beautiful-wedding-tiara This is my most-searched-for blog entry, and gets hit by people on search engines almost daily.  I still wonder if people think they’re going to find something juicy, or if there are just a lot of pregnant sisters out there.  🙂 I was able to revamp this devotional a bit and use it in another baby shower this year.  🙂

And lastly…

#10 I’ve Never Told My Kids to “Bow Your Head and Close Your Eyes”

WOOHOO!  So glad this recent post made it on the list of top entries of child_prayer3_679979819the year!  Let’s continue to challenge ourselves spiritually, parents, and fight unbiblical and extrabiblical dogmas!  Let’s fight hypocrisy and be Christians under grace in our parenting.  If you haven’t given this a read, I hope you will do so and leave your thoughts!

Thank you, readers, for making this the best year of blogging ever!  Can’t wait to bring you Heartsick, and The Hotline Girl and 12th Girl (from a new publisher!) – and hopefully good news on a couple fronts – this next upcoming year.  Regardless, God is God and He is good and takes care of me, as evidenced by the fact that I haven’t stopped fighting the good fight, and I have your abundant friendship.  I am so grateful for all of you!  God bless your 2016!!!



Weird Facts About RJ Conte

Hello friends and readers!

Are you guys getting excited for Heartsick?  I am!  IMG_1227It’s my longest book – at over 80,000 words, and it’s currently getting a cleaning up.  After editing, I hope to have this baby out to you sometime January-February of next year.  I have a love for young people – especially Christian, homeschooled, “worldly-naive” young people.  Because I was one of them!  I hope my heart shows in Heartsick, which is a romantic suspense for 18+.  I love you guys, and your hearts mean a lot to me.  I hope God uses this book in each of your lives.  ❤

I thought, as a little addition, I would put out five interesting facts about the author.  I hope that getting to know me interests you more in my books, and helps us be friends even more.  Please leave any of your own questions in the comments, and I’ll answer them if I can!

  1. I used to play softball and tennis.  I am NOT sporty, and was always a mediocre player in softball, but tennis I truly enjoyed.  I have good memories of softball, however, because I got to be on a team.  I’m 100% extroverted, and just loved the aspect of having a group of girls all rooting for eachother and working together.  🙂  I used that time to evangelize, make friends, and pray for the girls.  It was pretty special, even if I was stuck as an outfielder because my actual playing skills were so-so.  😛
  2. I taught piano for ten years, taking a break when we moved to the pacific northwest in March of 2014.  I’ve recently taken up IMG_0559teaching again as my two daughters begin piano lessons with me.  🙂  Teaching piano kept me sane for the very lonely hours of writing I spent every week as a young adult.  I had to have people time to balance out the alone time.  Piano teaching was a joy, and I never got tired of it.  🙂
  3. I think in full sentences.  This lends itself to writing, of course.  But, also, whenever anyone asks me, “What are you thinking?” I can spew it out in complete paragraphs at a moment’s notice.  I don’t think my brain is actually all that artistically creative.  It’s very black and white and neat and orderly.  Boxes of all sizes and black and white sentences.  At least synesthesia helps bring some color to my brain.  🙂
  4. I respond to almost all of life with deep feels and obsessive thought.

    I even eat COOKIES passionately!

    Very few things don’t matter to me, and I feel strongly about everything (which can be exhausting).  I get attached to people and objects and houses and places and things very easily.  When I was younger, I was in a homeschool biology class where we took… mosquitoes?  They were bigger than mosquitoes, but they had wings… and we attached them, with clear nail polish to a microscope slide.  After class, I asked if I could take mine home.  I called him Dead Fred, carried him with me everywhere


    Me pretending to be a death-loving Goth while researching and writing Angel-Lover (see side bar of this page for url to Amazon)

    and petted him like a pet.  I stroked him so much, his head fell off, and I, still, to this day, in a box at the back of the closet, have a broken slide with a headless bug on it.  Someone should’ve given me a real pet.  Seriously.  It was pathetic.  I met new neighbors, the Hebdens, for the first time by shoving my bug at them and saying, “This is Dead Fred, my pet.”  It’s amazing Jennifer Hebden and I became best friends after that, and that she and her family didn’t run screaming. Yeah, I would NEVER be able to keep a Lucent Sylph alive…

  5. I read a quote about someone “not quite being in love, but having a tender curiosity,” and I would say that is my outlook on the entire world.  I don’t fall in and out of love easily or anything, and I’m IMG_0156happily married, but I feel a loving, tender curiosity for all people – including you reading this now!  Please leave me a comment so I can get to know you.  🙂


I should also have news for you, in a bit, about The Hotline Girl and The 12th Girl in Heaven, both of which were picked up by Cleanreads.com, the publishing house, and should be out on the market again next spring – with brand, spanking new covers!  Excited to share!

Anime Characters by Myers-Briggs Type

This is my personal opinion, and I will be adding to this frequently.

 I do not promote or advertise any of the anime listed.  Watch all anime at your own risk.

To read my list of anime and k/jdramas to introduce to the American newbie viewer, click HERE.


Riki Naoe — Little Busters

Mami Tomoe — Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Chiyo Sakura — Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

Komari Kamikita — Little Busters

Shirley Fenette — Code Geass

Risa Koizumi — Lovely Complex

Aoi Miyamori — Shirobako

Osono — Kiki’s Delivery Service

Yuu Tobita — Gakuen Alice

Jun Nagase — Kami nomi zo Shiru Sekai

Misa Amane — Death Note

Tamaki Suou — Ouran Koukou Host Club

Rika Shinozaki — Sword Art Online

Hayama Hayato — Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru

Komachi Hikigaya — Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Come wa Machigatteiru


Tohru Honda — Fruits Basket

Yuzuru Otonashi — Angel Beats!

Haruka Kotoura — Non Non Biyori

Akari Shiodome — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Sakura Kinomoto — Cardcaptor Sakura

Yuuta Togashi — Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!

Tsubasa Andou — Gakuen Alice

Kazuya Kujou — Gosick

Ohana Matsumae — Hanasaku Iroha

Kaede Saitou — Yama no Susume

Shouta Kazehaya — Kimi ni Todoke

Pazu — Tenkuu no Shiro Laputa


Atsushi Ootani — Lovely Complex

Hikari Sakishima — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Hiyori Moritani — Kotoura-san

Daiki Tasaki — Kokoro ga Sakebitagatterunda

Hachirota Hoshino — Planetes

Ai Tanabe — Planetes

Ryouko Asakura — Nagato Yuki-chan no Shoushitsu

Sumire Shouda — Gakuen Alice

Ami Kawashima — Toradora!

Meiling Li — Cardcaptor Sakura

Takashi Waku — Bokurano

Masato Inohara — Little Busters!

Mint Aizawa — Tokyo Mew Mew

Michiru Kinushima — Plastic Memories

Weiss Schnee — RWBY


Misaki Ayuzawa — Kaichou wa Maid-sama!

Seiya Kanie — Amagai Brilliant Park

Yuri Nakamura — Angel Beats!

Yuriko Mifune — Kotoura-san

Winter Schnee — RWBY

Shinka Nibutani — Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!

Kanata Futaki — Little Busters!

Hikari Hanazono — Special A

Asuna Yuuki — Sword Art Online

Shizuka Hiratsuka — Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru


Sanae Dekomori — Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!

Akio Furukawa — Clannad

Ritsu Tainaka — K-On!

Yoshihisa Manabe — Kotoura-san

Atsuko Kagari — Little Witch Academia

Kyousuke Natsume — Little Busters!

Ika Musume — Shinryaku! Ika Musume

Rintarou Okabe — Steins;Gate

Haruhi Suzumiya — Suzumiya Haruhi no Shoushitsu

Toshinari Seki — Tonari no Seki-kun

Hinata Kuraue — Yama no Susume


Ichigo Momomiya — Tokyo Mew Mew

Manaka Mukaido — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Rinko Yamato — Ore Monogatari!

Yui Hirasawa — K-On!

Mikan Sakura — Gakuen Alice

Ayu Tsukimiya — Kanon

Kaori Miyazono — Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso

Sayaka Miki — Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Kiki — Kiki’s Delivery Service

Yui Yuigahama — Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru

Ruby Rose — RWBY

Mikoto Mikoshiba — Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

Iori Nagase — Kokoro Connect


Purin Fon — Tokyo Mew Mew

Pino — Ergo Proxy

Yang Xiao Long — RWBY

Yuina Wakura — Hanasaku Iroha

Narumi Anjo — Gakuen Alice

Konomi Fujimiya — Non Non Biyori

Haruka Saigusa — Little Busters!


Satsuki Matsumae — Hanasaku Iroha

Mahiro Fuwa — Zetsuen no Tempest

Sun Wukong — RWBY


Spike Spiegel — Cowboy Bebop

Sucy Manbavaran — Little Witch Academia

Faye Valentine — Cowboy Bebop

Makoto Sunakawa — Ore Monogatari!

Ursula — Kiki’s Delivery Service

Qrow Branwen — RWBY

Kumiko Oumae — Hibike! Euphonium

Kyouko Sakura — Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Kazuto Kirigaya — Sword Art Online


Isuzu Sento — Amagi Brilliant Park

Sui Shijima — Hanasaku Iroha

Umetarou Nozaki — Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

Rin Kaga — Usagi Drop

Daikichi Kawachi — Usagi Drop

Natsuki Nitou — Kokoro ga Sakebitagatterunda

Tomoru Sakishima — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Saitama — One Punch Man

Komari Koshigaya — Non Non Biyori

Mio Akiyama — K-On!

Kyon — Suzumiya Haruhi no Shoushitsu

Rumi Yokoi — Tonari no Seki-kun

Satoru Fujinuma — Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi (ERASED)

Yuuichi Aizawa – Kanon

Aoi Yukimura — Yama no Susume

Yoshino Takigawa — Zetsuen no Tempest

Masaya Aoyama — Tokyo Mew Mew

Haruhi Fujioka — Ouran Koukou Host Club

Nodoka Manabe — K-On!

Saber — Fate/Zero

Ren Tsuruga — Skip Beat!


Shaoran Li — Cardcaptor Sakura

Reina Kousaka — Hibike! Euphonium

Lelouch Lamperouge — Code Geass

Daichi Muroto — Kotoura-san

Kaede “Candy Store” Kagayama — Non Non Biyori

Re-l Mayer — Ergo Proxy

Masaru Kodaka — Bokurano

Natsume Hyuuga — Gakuen Alice

Hotaru Imai — Gakuen Alice

Light Yagami — Death Note

Tsumugu Kihara — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Kayo Hinazuki — Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi

Victorique de Blois — Gosick

Aria Hitotose — Shirobako Specials

Minko Tsurugi — Hanasaku Iroha

Azusa Nakano — K-On!

Rin Natsume — Little Busters!

Fee Carmichael — Planetes

Kurisu Makise — Steins;Gate

Yukino Yukinoshita — Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru

Zakuro Fujiwara — Tokyo Mew Mew

Ryou Shirogane — Tokyo Mew Mew

Saena Mogami — Skip Beat!

Hotaru Imai — Gakuen Alice

Katsuragi Keima — Kami nomi zo Shiru Sekai

Taiga Aisaka — Toradora!

Himeko Inaba — Kokoro Connect


Ririchiyo Shirakiin — Inu x Boku SS

Homura Akemi — Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Hotaru Ichijou — Non Non Biyori

Ayato Naoi — Angel Beats!

Suzaku Kururugi — Code Geass

Kenya Kobayashi — Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi


Lettuce Midorikawa — Tokyo Mew Mew

Nagisa Furukawa — Clannad

Itaru Shiodome — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Chisaki Hiradaira — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Lotte Yansson — Little Witch Academia

Takeo Gouda — Ore Monogatari!

Eru Chitanda — Hyouka

Luca Nogi — Gakuen Alice

Kudryavka Noumi — Little Busters!

Madoka Kaname — Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Mikuru Asahina — Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu

Yuki Nagato — Nagato Yuki-chan no Shoushitsu

Ryuuji Takasu — Toradora!

Ui Hirasawa — K-On!

Taichi Yaegashi — Kokoro Connect

Kyoko Mogami — Skip Beat!

Kousei Arima — Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso


Tomoyo Daidouji — Cardcaptor Sakura

Mayuri Shiina — Steins;Gate

Kaname Isaki — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Tsumugi Kotobuki — K-On!

Pyrrha Nikos — RWBY

Itsuki Koizumi — Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu

Kokona Aoba — Yama no Susume

Saika Totsuka — Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru


Rikka Takanashi — Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!

Vincent Law — Ergo Proxy

Mizore Yoroizuka — Hibeke! Euphonium

Ema Yasuhara — Shirobako

Chizuru Honda — Bokurano

Jun Naruse — Kokoro ga Sakebitagatterunda

Nako Oshimizu — Hanasaku Iroha

Miuna Shiodome — Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

Sawako Kuronuma — Kimi ni Todoke

Mio Nishizono — Little Busters!

Moeka Kiryuu — Steins;Gate

Aika Fuwa — Zetsuen no Tempest

Blake Belladonna — RWBY


Kanade Tachibana — Angel Beats!

C.C. — Code Geass

L Lawliet — Death Note

Suguru Koshigaya — Non Non Biyori

Hachiman Hikigaya — Yahari Ore no Seishun Love Comedy wa Machigatteiru

Renge Miyauchi — Non Non Biyori

Yuki Souma — Fruits Basket

Houtarou Oreki — Hyouka

Soushi Miketsukami — Inu x Boku SS

Takumi Usui — Kaichou wa Maid-sama!

Yuiko Kurugaya — Little Busters!

Kyuubey — Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Itaru Hashida — Steins;Gate

Yuki Nagato — Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to Endless Videos of Your Children on Facebook

It’s summer, and my brain’s on vacation.  I’ve got another serious post in the works, but it’s just not ready yet.

In the meantime, let’s stick to Myers-Briggs humor.  Always a hit.  😀  ALL IN FUN, PEOPLE!  No offense here.  This is just for laughs!  😀

Little Johnny can say his ABCs.  Emma has learned to count in Spanish.  You post a video of each.  Why not?  We all do it. 

But wait!  The very next day, Johnny has miraculously begun to speak Latin fluently, and Emma has started performing open-heart surgery on patients at the local hospital!  All at the tender age of seven and eight!  You just have to post again.  Six videos in a row won’t make your Facebook friends run like they were escaping a zombie apocalypse, right?  I mean, come on!  These videos are dynamite!

Here’s how your friends are responding, according to their Myers-Briggs type:

ESFJ – Posted the six videos of her kids to begin with!

INFJ – Has five minutes to upload a piece of art to Instagram, and then is private-messaging five people he’s having personal conversations with.  Doesn’t have time for your video at all, but has opened a tab to view later.  It makes him feel like a good friend, even though he’ll probably actually never watch the video.  He clicks “like” anyway.

ENFJ – Finally finds a library where she has Internet access.  Gets online and is confused by the new Facebook changes.  Sees nothing on her newsfeed but an inflaming political post from her third cousin.  Realizes, yet again, that she hates Facebook, she leaves.  Never sees your video, and wonders why you can’t email her the 385MB files personally so she doesn’t have to go find them.

ISFJ – Watches all of the videos faithfully, liking every single one, but leaving no comments.

ESTJ – Watches two of the six videos, and makes a wisecrack about your funny-looking pants in one scene.  Later comments your lungs must be getting worse because he can hear your breathing in every video.  How is your asthma?

ISTJ – Comments on a profile picture you have of yourself and says, “Nice hair.  How are the kids?”  You mention that you recently posted videos, and you gush, gush, gush about how he has to go watch them.  You never hear back from him.

INTJ – Clicks, “See less from this person.”

ENTP – Finds that ONE time Buzzfeed posted to your page without your permission, letting everyone know you took a “How hot are you?” quiz.  Likes that post and comments about an old movie she saw once where the word “hot” was actually an alien code word for an invasion.  Gives you the plot details.  You don’t reply.

INTP – Never uses his Facebook account.  Occasionally posts a one sentence status about work.  You are confused and can’t decipher it.

ENTJ – Says, “This is awesome” on one of the videos, and has already assessed what college your kid should go to and what career track would be right.  Says he is open to discussing it with you, but then vanishes offline for a week to go be productive.

ISTP – Comments on your choice of music in one of the videos.  Wants to discuss bands, and which song artistically goes with which selfie of herself she has recently posted.

ESTP – Comments, “Should be outside instead!  You’re keeping your kids cooped up doing academic things during summer?  Let them be kids, by golly!  They’ve got plenty of time to sit in school.  Seven years old and already your forcing her to study brain surgery?  Get a life, ESFJ!”

INFP – Emails you privately saying, “You’re a great mother.”  Never comments publicly on anything.

ISFP – Begs for more videos of you instead.  Writes with a lot of emoticons. “This is great and all, but I want to see more of YOUUUUUU!  🙂  🙂  🙂  ❤  Lol!!!  ❤  Remember how cute you were at Hannah’s wedding?  OMW!  OMG!”  You smile and *blush*, but are confused as to what that has to do with your kids.

ENFP – Is too busy posting pictures of her own kids’ various stitches to have time to watch videos.  Current status: “Next ER visit, here we come!”

ESFP – Does not have a Facebook account at all.  Is out living a real life.  Just appears in everyone else’s pictures with perfect hair.

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Would Respond to a Visit from an Alien

Oh yes, it’s me again with more stereotypical Myers-Briggs humor.  Leave me a comment with your type and your thoughts!

Don’t forget to sign up for my Facebook party here!

How Each Myers-Briggs Type Would Respond to A Visit from an Alien

ESFJ: Do you need adopting?  I’m going to run you through some psychoanalyzing first, to make sure you don’t hurt any of my family, but then I’ll take you in and make you call me mother.

ISFJ: Let’s all hide in the basement and protect ourselves, but I will subtly go sneak it food once in a while. Can’t let it starve.

INFJ: Cool!  Can you tell me your life story so I can write a book about you and get attached to you and never let you go?

INFP: Tell me all about the worlds you’ve seen and conquered.

ENFP: Take me in your spaceship with you so I can see the worlds you’ve seen and conquered.

ENTJ: Take me with you in your spaceship so I can personally conquer the worlds you’ve seen.

ISTJ: You don’t exist.  This is an illusion.

ESTJ: You don’t exist.  This is an illusion.  But, just in case, I’m going to try shooting you with this rifle a couple of times.

ENFJ: Can I help you find what you’re looking for on our planet?  I know a lot of people in congress, at the grocery store, in the military, at the pet store, in D.C., at the bookstore… I know a lot of people.

ESFP: Can you kiss me so I can see what an alien smooch feels like?

ESTP: I want to just take one spin in the spaceship.  How fast can it go?

ISTP: Don’t tell anyone we have this relationship.  I have a reputation to uphold, and I don’t want to look soft.

INTP: When you die, I’d like to dissect you.

ENTP: Let’s just cut off an arm and dissect you now.

INTJ: Let’s plot to overthrow the earth’s government together.

ISFP: I will be depressed when you leave.  Don’t leave me, and let’s try some sort of inter-galactic romance!
Like what you read?  Come check out my books here!

16Sundays Interview!

Next up on my blog tour: Interview with 16Sundays!

This interview is all about my Myers-Briggs personality type, and the types of my main characters, Toby and Arabella Rose!  Not only does Monica, over at 16Sundays, blog about the Myers-Briggs personality types, but she designs shirts for each type!  I love the ESFJ one.  🙂  Check it out by clicking the picture above!

Remember, subscribe to all five blogs on the blog tour, and let me know about it, and you’ll be entered to win a free paperback copy of The Hotline Girl.  Right now we’ve only had five people take me up on this offer, so your odds of winning are pretty good!

Also, please come to the Facebook release party!  Info here.

An excerpt of the interview:

a.     What is a common personality trait of your ‘type’ that is true about you?

I am an ESFJ. This type is known as the epitome of the “mother bear.” I guess I definitely fit that, as I’ve been called a mother by even my very best friends, who are my peers. 😉 I also have an absolute loathing of [Read more here]

Meet My New Characters – With Pictures and MB Types!

Since Myers-Briggs humor is my most popular by far (Thanks to Reddit!), with my two humorous MB posts hitting first and third most popular posts of all time, I thought it smart to introduce you to what’s coming this year in a Myers-Briggs way.  😀


We’ve spent a lot of time giving (click on links) Angel-Lover a new cover, interviewing Chad, and creating Angel-Lover merchandise.

Now it’s time for you readers to hear about what I’m currently working on!

Three novellas will be coming out this summer, possibly as a set (Stay tuned for info on that).  They are all fairy tale remakes and around 20,000 words.  Imagine your favorite fairy tale subtly set in modern day times, each nuance and classic element being twisted and formed in a new way.  This will involve Beauty and the Beast, The Twelve Dancing Princesses, and Cinderella like you’ve never seen them before!  🙂

(Novellas appropriate for New Adult and older – 17 years+)

Therefore, let me introduce you to my protagonist and her deuteragonist (main character and secondary main character) for each story by giving you their Myers-Briggs personality type (Click on any of the types to see more about it on another website).  🙂


The Hotline Girl:

This work is already completed, and ready to be introduced to you first this summer 2015!


Arabella Rose Beauregard

Age: 23

MB Type: ISTJ – Dependable, hard-working, dutiful, private, thorough, efficient, punctual, traditional, practical, responsible, honest, rule following, sacrificial, devoted, service-oriented, rigid, committed

(ISTJ is the most common type.  Does this describe you? 🙂 )

Goal: To save the world

Picture of what Arabella Rose might look like, just for fun



Toby Beestlie

Age: 28

MB Type: ENTP – innovative, perceptive, curious, logical, imaginative, crafty, enthusiastic, objective, introspective, impersonal, assertive, carefree, gregarious, intellectual, entrepreneurial, non-conforming, carefree, spontaneous

(Crazy geniuses, these guys)

Goal: To be the best always.

Picture of what Toby might look like, just for fun (Extra points if you know who this really is!)

Topics Covered in The Hotline Girl:

Forgiveness, depression, suicide, empathy, vanity

NOT the real cover, but something fun while you wait for the real one!




The 12th Girl in Heaven:

In process right now!  Currently on chapter 11


Macy Bandele

Age: 19

MB Type: ISFJ – observant, kind, sensitive, traditional, loyal, private, quiet, disciplined, empathetic, organized, practical, gentle, fearful

(The introverted version of me  😉 )

Goal: To not step on any toes, to be safe, and yet to become popular

Picture of what Macy might look like, just for fun




Dillan Noughton

Age: 19

MB Type: ENFJ – Idealistic, social, expressive, people-oriented, caring, charismatic, assertive, positive, supportive, encouraging, organized, abstract, enthusiastic, leader, selfless, passionate, affectionate, nurturing

(This is the type of my mother, who I happen to think is one of the best people on this earth  😛 )

Goal: To protect Macy

Picture of what Dillan might look like, just for fun

(Anyone recognize him?  Haha.  I’m dating myself here.)

Topics covered in The 12 Girl in Heaven:

Peer pressure, sororities, secret-keeping, alcohol, and trafficking

NOT the final cover, but something I made up for fun:




Princess Permanent


Sabrina Killara

Age: 25

MB Type: ISFP – Harmonious, creative, adaptable, warm, independent, sensitive, friendly, sensation-loving, asthetically-inclined, relaxed, private, carefree

(Know any?  Sounds like you?)

Goal: To be loved by her prince, and be crowned princess

Picture of what Sabrina might look like, just for fun



Prince Derry

Age: 30

MB Type: INFP – Idealistic, future-focused, independent, artistic, guarded, meaningful, abstract, imaginative, intuitive, empathetic, private, sensitive, peace-loving, internally aware, creative, different

(The type I find the hardest to understand, so I research them a ton and write about them often)

Goal: To enjoy all that is beautiful in life

Picture of what Derry might look like, just for fun

Topics covered in Princess Permanent:

Vanity, pageants, spoiling children, intellect

NOT the real cover, but something fun I put together to give you an idea:


Give me your thoughts!  Are any of my characters your personality type?  Any you want to know more about?  Thank you for supporting me, praying for me, and being excited about my new projects!




How Each Myers-Briggs Type Responds to Finding a Spider in the Shower

It’s me again, with good, clean Myers-Briggs fun.  All in jest and a complete generalization.  Hope it affords another laugh.  After “How Each Myers-Briggs Type Reacts to a Dead Body” succeeded on Reddit and became my most popular post ever by far, I felt I had to write another.  🙂


Each type walks into their bathroom, steps into the shower, and discovers a spider.


ESFJ: I hate, hate, hate this!  How dare this creature come into my bathroom!  But I will be brave and kill it quickly before it creeps out of here and bites my children in their sleep.  Don’t you dare think about harming my children, you monster!

ESTJ: Die, die, die!  *stomp* *stomp*  That was satisfying, in a scary sort of way.  Wow, I am a MACHINE.  What else can I kill?

ENTJ: Huh.  I’m sure he’ll go down with the water.  Meanwhile, that CIO vying for my position is the true spider cretin in my life.  Or maybe he’d be better defined as a cockroach…

INTJ: Spiders are so amazing and hold such power over people.  I wish I could be like that.

INFJ: I really don’t like spiders, but before I call for help, I’m going to stand here and use this to brainstorm and muse about my scene where Lutyisvnburys the Fairy Elf Queen, my character, has to fight the magical evil spider mage in the saga of ten books I’m writing.  Yeah, this is a great writing experience.

ISFJ: Oh my goodness.  Do I have an infestation?  Is my home out of control?  I need to call the pest people right away.  Nothing should be out of order like this!

ISTJ: I’m going to catch this guy, put him in alcohol so he dies just right, and then pin him in my insect box to study under a microscope later.

ISTP: BLOWTORCH!!!!  I’ll decide whether or not I liked this bathroom later.

ISFP: All God’s creatures should have a right to live!  Live, little guy, live!  Let me help you escape to the outside world!

INFP: I’m terrified.  It’s like my bizarre nightmare from last night where I was covered with cement up to my ears and spiders were on my head.  I can’t move, I can’t speak, and I’ll probably need therapy.

INTP: I am strong, emotionless, and extremely intelligent.  But this is one of my two phobias that no one knows about.  I shall now weep like a baby and hope death finds me quickly.

ESFP: I should start screaming really high-pitched and girly.  I can even run out in just a towel.  It will make the scene all the more dramatic and hilarious for everyone who will see me and come to my rescue.

ENFP: I can feed him to my tarantulas!  Free lunch, my pets!

ENFJ: Interesting.  I probably brought him in on my clothes while I was out running a large farm single handedly and winning every category in the county fair.

ESTP: I should get my friends together and we should make spontaneous dares about what to do with this thing.  That will be bae.

ENTP: There are so many ways I could kill this guy.  The possibilities are endless, and may involve matches and a bottle of whiskey.



Top 10 Posts of 2014

Thank you, readers, for making this the best year that the BlondeRJ blog has seen yet!

Here are the most popular blog posts of 2014!  These posts received the most views.  Click on any title to read the post.  Please let me know what type of blog posts you want to see from me this coming year!  More art?  More current events?  Brainy?  Myers-Briggs fun?  Book reviews?  Or Christian topical discussions?  Let me know!

Keep reading and commenting!  Thank you all!


1. How Each Myers-Briggs Type Reacts to a Dead Body

This one was just stereotyping Myers-Briggs types in a meant-for-laughs way.  However, this was a huge hit on Reddit, staying on the front page for almost a week.  I still get hits all over the world coming from Reddit wanting a laugh.  No one commented on my actual blog, but there’s quite a discussion going on over on Reddit about this post.  🙂  I’m thinking it’s time for another Myers-Briggs humor post…


2. Should Married Women Vote Against Their Spouse?

My controversial voting post was my first to go viral, but it only has half the views of the Myers-Briggs one above, believe it or not!  This post created waves by being something that made a lot of people mad.  I got hate responses from a few people, which greatly amused me.  You don’t have to agree with it, but go ahead and give it a read.  Interestingly enough, I still get views on this post from the Middle East.  I don’t know if that’s bad or good…


3. Too Attached to Your Kidshands

It’s funny how the posts that make people unhappy receive more views than anything else.  I’m not sure everyone agreed with this article as well, but the response was very favorable.  I made new, dear friends on Facebook just because they read this article.  Jessica F., you know who you are!  Love you!  Again, feel free to disagree with me – and let me know that you do – when you peruse this one.  ❤


4. An Open Letter to My Pregnant Sister

I’ve always wondered if people think they’re getting something juicy when they click on this link!  Hbeautiful-wedding-tiaraowever, my happily married, godly sister, had a baby shower for her first baby, and my mom wanted someone to do the devotional for it.  Because I love my little sister, and live so far away from her, I was sad that I couldn’t make it.  Instead, I wrote the devotional and recorded it, keeping it a secret from her.  When it came time to do the devotional, my mom surprised my sister by crowning her with a tiara I had provided, and playing my voice over the speakers.  That’s what this post is.  🙂


5. We Are Losing Our Men

This was a very personal article to me that was born from a week of realizing I had misjudged my own husband for far too long.  Our culture is such a promoter of macho, emotionless, physically-driven men.  The actual hearts that live in our husbands are often thought to not exist.  I pray this article helps many of us wives.  ❤


6. The HONEST Student Contract – Funny!piano_teacher_funny_pizza_t_shirt_tshirt-r3d5eca8b2d3b4d53ab0f7b10e7d48e40_804gs_512

Again, the only reason for this post’s success is Reddit.  (Great place to advertise, all!)  For some reason, this hit a funny bone among Reddit readers.  It was something stupid I wrote as a teenager, and new piano teacher, that I felt like throwing up on my blog to see if it hit a cord.  Sure did!  Hopefully you teachers get a laugh!


7. Coming out of the (Medicine) Closet

Unfortunately, I feel like many of my dearest friends and I don’t see eye to eye medically.  This doesn’t mean we can’t be best friends though!  Instead of answering the same questions about immunizations, allergies, c-sections, and such, I just decided, with the help of my husband, to write a list of where I stand.  I’ve received a lot less criticisms, and for that, I’m glad.  It’s not in the interest of any of us to fight or argue over these things.  I’m glad that this post made it around.


8. The Shocking Truth About Lady Gaga That She Doesn’t Want You to Know

I’m so glad that this one is on the list.  I cried my eyes out the entire day I wrote this.  I still contemplating mailing that last paragraph to Lady Gaga herself.  Even if it’s only read by a secretary, I feel like I should try.  Our celebrities are suffering in their sin, guilt, and choice of lifestyles.  May you be motivated to pray for them after reading this pot.  BE WARNING: This is a mature post, with graphic pictures and topics.


9. The Story of My Friend Problems

I apologize!  I apologize!  This one is total clickbait, and I know it.  I’m amused that everyone wanted the scoop on RJ’s past problems.  This one is a quick read with a total surprise ending.  Go read it and be mad at me.  Or laugh.  😉


10. An Open Letter to a Teenager

Here is the REAL scoop on RJ’s past problems.  Get your gossip here!  😉




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