My oldest daughter, who’s eight years old, has extensive food allergies, so eating isn’t always a delight for her. But she *can* eat bacon – and she does it with gusto. It’s her favorite food on earth currently. Yesterday she decided that really everything in life is about bacon, and we laughed ourselves silly coming up with reasons why. Today we made this list for your viewing pleasure.
EVERYTHING IS ABOUT BACON
Knives – to cut the bacon
Forks – to lift the bacon to my mouth
Plates – to hold the bacon
Chairs – to sit in while eating bacon
Water – to wash the bacon down
Clothes – to stay warm while eating bacon
Clothes that are too big – to grow into from getting large eating nothing but bacon
Washers and dryers – to wash bacon grease off my clothes
Shoes – to wear to go buy more bacon
Cars – to drive to the store to get bacon
Houses – a place to cook and eat bacon
Closets – to hide in so no one sees me constantly eating bacon
Curtains – to hide the fact that I do nothing all day but eat bacon
Doors – to keep the bacon scent contained to one room
Parents – to cook my bacon
Siblings – to want my bacon
All other food – to give to siblings to eat instead of my bacon
Jewelry – to look stylish while eating bacon
Cameras – to take pictures of bacon
Social media – to post pictures of me wearing jewelry and eating bacon
TV – to show me commercials of yummy bacon
Microphones – to host podcasts where I talk about bacon or record music where I sing about bacon
Money – to buy bacon
A job – to work to get money to buy bacon
Trophies – to earn by winning bacon-eating contests
State fairs and amusement parks – to eat deep-fried bacon
People – to provide me with bacon
Trees – to give us wood to create barns to house pigs which give me bacon
Dirt – to grow the trees which create barns which house pigs who give me bacon
Pigs – Duh. Bacon.
Blonde RJ 