It’s me again, with good, clean Myers-Briggs fun. All in jest and a complete generalization. Hope it affords another laugh. After “How Each Myers-Briggs Type Reacts to a Dead Body” succeeded on Reddit and became my most popular post ever by far, I felt I had to write another. 🙂
Each type walks into their bathroom, steps into the shower, and discovers a spider.
ESFJ: I hate, hate, hate this! How dare this creature come into my bathroom! But I will be brave and kill it quickly before it creeps out of here and bites my children in their sleep. Don’t you dare think about harming my children, you monster!
ESTJ: Die, die, die! *stomp* *stomp* That was satisfying, in a scary sort of way. Wow, I am a MACHINE. What else can I kill?
ENTJ: Huh. I’m sure he’ll go down with the water. Meanwhile, that CIO vying for my position is the true spider cretin in my life. Or maybe he’d be better defined as a cockroach…
INTJ: Spiders are so amazing and hold such power over people. I wish I could be like that.
INFJ: I really don’t like spiders, but before I call for help, I’m going to stand here and use this to brainstorm and muse about my scene where Lutyisvnburys the Fairy Elf Queen, my character, has to fight the magical evil spider mage in the saga of ten books I’m writing. Yeah, this is a great writing experience.
ISFJ: Oh my goodness. Do I have an infestation? Is my home out of control? I need to call the pest people right away. Nothing should be out of order like this!
ISTJ: I’m going to catch this guy, put him in alcohol so he dies just right, and then pin him in my insect box to study under a microscope later.
ISTP: BLOWTORCH!!!! I’ll decide whether or not I liked this bathroom later.
ISFP: All God’s creatures should have a right to live! Live, little guy, live! Let me help you escape to the outside world!
INFP: I’m terrified. It’s like my bizarre nightmare from last night where I was covered with cement up to my ears and spiders were on my head. I can’t move, I can’t speak, and I’ll probably need therapy.
INTP: I am strong, emotionless, and extremely intelligent. But this is one of my two phobias that no one knows about. I shall now weep like a baby and hope death finds me quickly.
ESFP: I should start screaming really high-pitched and girly. I can even run out in just a towel. It will make the scene all the more dramatic and hilarious for everyone who will see me and come to my rescue.
ENFP: I can feed him to my tarantulas! Free lunch, my pets!
ENFJ: Interesting. I probably brought him in on my clothes while I was out running a large farm single handedly and winning every category in the county fair.
ESTP: I should get my friends together and we should make spontaneous dares about what to do with this thing. That will be bae.
ENTP: There are so many ways I could kill this guy. The possibilities are endless, and may involve matches and a bottle of whiskey.